A Story of Love

A Story of Love… or is it a Love Story?

This month my husband and I celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary.  Happy Anniversary Hun, and many more wonderful ones to come!

Our anniversary is in, what many consider to be, the month of Love.   February is the month when many people celebrate St. Valentine’s Day, which we celebrate on 14th February.

So, I thought it would be an ideal time to talk about LOVE, and in particular, to address the topic of LOVE STORIES.

The Word ‘Love’

Let’s start off talking about the word ‘LOVE’ – what does it mean to you?   How does reading it and saying it make you feel?

To me, LOVE is one of the most powerfully emotive words in our language.  Personally, I believe that some people bandy it around so much that they diminish its power.   I use the word LOVE when something means a great deal to me, for example, I love my husband and I enjoy eating chocolate.

Love Story or Story of Love?

Many of us, particularly those of us who grew up on fairy tales, recognise the words LOVE STORY.   A love story is, in my personal view, a fantasy type of love.   It is the dashing Prince riding in on his white steed to save the Princess, they kiss, then ensues a lavish wedding (complete with dress that could rival any of the dresses in the TV show ‘My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding’), and it all ends with the beautiful couple disappearing into the sunset and living happily ever after.   Fairy tales and Disney have a lot to answer for!

To me, a STORY OF LOVE is a completely different kettle of fish.   It is set in the real world, with real people.  People, who have good days and bad days, who work long hours, who wake up with mascara smudges, and get overwhelmed on occasions with life.   They don’t necessarily have perfectly toned abs, spout romantic poetry, nor do they all drive a Ferrari and live in a huge mansion with a pool and polo paddock out the back.

Indeed, the large majority of us are regular people going about our daily routines and getting on with it as best we can.   Now, that’s not to say that each regular Jane or John don’t have dreams, and some of them can be whoppers.   Some will achieve those dreams and others may not.  Anyway, that’s another story.

Back to our STORY OF LOVE…   

I used to believe in the LOVE STORY fantasy version of love and wished and waited for my handsome Prince Charming to come along and save me from my mundane life.   Then the reality hit me that this was not going to be the case.  My Life depended on ME getting on with it, and so I did.   However, along the way, I set the intention for LOVE to come into my life, and I asked the Universe, at the right time, to find me someone kind, loving, supportive and a true friend and companion.

I forged on with my life, and it was filled with flitting romances, until my late 20s.   I had lived in London and Paris, bought my own home and had an incredible job.   However, at that time, I also was in a difficult relationship with a rather unpleasant guy.   He was controlling and manipulative, not a nice guy at all.  My first reaction when he asked me out was to say “NO”, but being the kind person I am, I gave him a chance.  (Note to self – LISTEN TO YOUR BLOODY INTUITION!!)   I am not going into the sordid details here, but let’s say it has taken a lot of therapy to put the ordeal behind me.

Anyway, I finally managed to remove myself from his clutches, and to say I ‘strongly disliked’ (I am avoiding using the word HATE here, as it such a powerful word too and has too much negativity associated it with) men at that point was an understatement.   I managed to pull my life back together, and it was at this point when I had totally given up on finding ‘Mr. Right’ and resigned myself to being a spinster on my own. But, hey ho, the Universe had other plans.

It was on a night out with friends when I met my wonderful husband.   I literally picked him up on the street in the town where I lived.   It felt like the Universe, with all its wisdom, pointed a big sign at him with the words ‘PICK HIM’.   Hand on my heart that is truly what it felt like to me.

All my other romances never even made it past the six-month mark, and most of them felt like really hard work.   Since my husband and I have been together, I can tell you that the time together has flown by.   Now to me, we have a true STORY OF LOVE – our marriage has had its fair share of hard knocks and we survived; we have lived together through the upheavals of moving to and living in four different countries; we have many common interests and we enjoy cuddling up together on the sofa in front of the fire (the joys of living in a Swiss Chalet) with a glass of wine, watching a movie.   A STORY OF LOVE is about two people’s hearts connecting and the two of them working together to face the ups and downs of life.

He is my partner-in-crime, my rock, my travel companion, my personal chef, my supporter, my friend – but most of all, he is my LOVE.  We are a TEAM.

Look for Your Own Story of Love

I see too many young, and a few older people rush into relationships and marriage because they think they are in love.   In reality, they are in love with the idea of the LOVE STORY.    Rarely do these unions work out, because they have neglected to look for all the special qualities to make a LIFE LONG STORY OF LOVE.

Being in LOVE with someone is hard work.   It takes give and take on both sides, with a good dose of compromise (in balance), a lot of compassion, and you need to be big enough to say “SORRY” (and mean it) when you mess up, and be able to dig deep to FORGIVE the other person when they get it wrong.   With LOVE in both of your hearts, you will find your way together.

If your own LOVE STORY didn’t work out, don’t give up – we all deserve to find someone to star alongside in our own STORY OF LOVE movie.

Are you looking for or living the LOVE STORY, or are you ready to commit to finding your own STORY OF LOVE?

PS   I also want to add that make sure you start by enjoying a STORY OF LOVE with yourself first.  It makes life a lot more straightforward when you love who you truly are!