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The Power of CHOICES

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Our CHOICES empower us and set us Free.

— Ellie J. Hart (Author of ‘I Choose… 52 Quotes to Inspire and Empower through Choices)

To choose or not to choose, that is the question…

I couldn’t choose. I was stuck.

Stuck in a holding pattern in my life – no moving forward or going back. It was like Groundhog Day, replaying the same bad scenes time and time again. This was my life for a long time. Too long.

My marriage was going down the pan. Two people living together in a state of bitterness. I’m not going to go into the details here, perhaps one day I will feel strong enough to tell that story, but not yet. I think you get the picture. Two people driving each other nuts, knowing how to press each other buttons to grate and provoke. Oh, unhappy days!

It was a cycle, one I knew only too well and one I knew deep down in my heart that it needed to end. Many of you will say ‘why didn’t you just walk away’, and I would agree with you, but FEAR kept me frozen in the never ending loop that was my reality. I guess I had secretly hoped that he would have walked away first, but then I should have realised that my pain and suffering was feeding his narcissistic ego.

Anyway, the Universe stepped in almost two years ago and put the spanner in the works to force the change. I had joined a bookclub, something for me and a chance to escape one night a week from the draining combat. The group were fun and friendly, and I derived great pleasure from the books each member took turns to select.

Then came a book that literally changed my life. The book of the month was ‘The Choice – Embrace the Possible‘ by Edith Eger. This book touched my soul in a profound way. Her experiences during the Holocaust wrenched at my heart and tears poured down my cheeks. Her story of survival through such cruelty was unbelievable, and it all came down to a CHOICE.

The CHOICE to survive no matter what.

This realisation shock me to my very core. Here was I stuck unable to make the CHOICE I needed to make to set myself free. It struck me that if a young Edith Eger could make a CHOICE to survive through such incredible suffering, I was capable of making the CHOICE to set myself free to live my life on my own terms.

It takes COURAGE to make big life changing choices, and I will admit it took me a further two months to get to a point where I believed in myself enough to go through with it, and when I did voice my decision, I was surprised at how calmly I was able to do it. My heart was fully onboard and knew it was the right thing for me.

Making the big difficult scary CHOICE was liberating.

From that point in my life I realised the power we have with the CHOICES we make. I no longer take a flippant view towards making important choices in my life. I now take time to examine and deliberate over them and check-in with myself to feel if they are right for me.

Taking back control of my CHOICES had given me back empowerment. I am no longer a victim — I am the boss of my life. I am now able to set clear boundaries, so I don’t feel taken advantage of. I find when I tune in and make a choice, I have clarity on my life purpose and where I’m heading.

Taking back control of our CHOICES is an important step in aligning with who we really are, and what we really want in our lives.

— Ellie J. Hart

My advice to anyone reading this, who feels stuck, is to really take a step back and consider carefully your choices. Tune in and listen to what your heart is telling you and then take the big brave step of making that choice with 110% conviction. Believe me, it will make a huge difference and set you free to enjoy your own miracluous life journey.

Dr Edith Eger’s book inspired me to change my life and through my experience I have learned about THE POWER OF CHOICES. In turn I wanted to pass on what I have learned, so I wrote my quote book to inspire you, and me, to make good choices every day that bring us further along the path to joy and happiness.

Life is full of fun, joy and happiness when we make the right choices to lead us there, so enjoy making those worthwhile choices.

With lots of love & blessings
Ellie J. Hart
xxx
Lover of Life and Purveyor of Joy

Ellie’s debut book ‘I Choose… 52 Quotes to Inspire and Empower Through Choices’ is now available to purchase on AMAZON in both Kindle and Paperback formats.

Available in Kindle and Paperback formats on AMAZON >>> mybook.to/Ichoose52quotes

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Write to Heal

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Pick up your pen and open your heart.
Allow the emotions to spill forth, 
and unburden your Soul. 
Safe in the knowledge 
that there will come a point when
the pain will start to heal.
You will feel reborn.

– Janet Groom

I was inspired to write the book ‘Write to Heal: 10 Ways to use Writing and Words to Boost Your Well-being and Transform Your Life’ as I do the work to clear each layer on my own healing journey. It explores my insights and conclusions of what works for me, as well as techniques which have proved useful for many of my transformational life coaching clients too.

3d Write to Heal book

Life has certainly had its ups and downs on my rollercoaster journey, and to many viewing my life from the outside, I look to be enjoying a privileged life living between a typical Swiss chalet in the breath-taking snow-capped Alps, and the UK. I have now written several books. I have travelled extensively, including having lived now in four different parts of the world. To many, my life looks charmed, if not ‘perfect’ with my loving husband and best-friend at my side. 

However, much the picture looks rosy, there is a dark side to my life, and if you knew the half of what has taken place, you would be shocked by what challenges life has thrown in my path. When people find out, they don’t quite believe me, and when they realise I am telling the truth, they are surprised at my ‘normality’ and praise my strength of character. 

Finding My Way Back

In the book, I talk about these life obstacles and how they caused me to shut-down and survive the daily routine of life in a ‘zombie-like’ state. My heart was ‘walled up’ to prevent the pain from surging through as my heart was on the verge of eruption with all the pent up emotional anguish. I chose numbness over, allowing my feelings to override me. I decided to enter ‘survival mode’ to get through each day.

Some of you may relate to this, but I will warn you at some stage, perhaps not today or tomorrow, the dam will burst, and all those emotions will pour forth — and indeed this is what happened to me after several decades of keeping it all in check. The day came, and my world imploded. The searing pain raced through my mind and body, and I spiralled into a deep dark depression. 

With loving support from my husband, along with medication, and my strong will to survive — I managed to crawl my way back to the ‘light’. It was a dark, lonely and scary place, and I never want to go there again.

For a long time, I teetered on the edge of the abyss, and when my equilibrium was rocked, I could feel the pull and spiralling starting. It was at this time; I realised I needed to find my own way to keep myself safe. To find techniques to boost my mental well-being and shift from negative thinking. 

What followed was a period of research and study. I explored and learned amazing new techniques and modalities. I found my way to NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), Hypnosis, Meditation, Life Coaching and Energy Healing. I love the way that NLP focusses on the words we use and ways to shift our thinking by reprogramming our unconscious mind. Hypnosis and Meditations allowed my body to relax and find a way back to balance, while Life Coaching supported me to look forward to planning out the life I desired, and Energy Healing connected me to a new way of thinking about the energy in my body and how I was using, or in my case abusing, it.

Time to Change and Time to Write

This new learning formed the foundation of my healing journey, but in reality, it all came together when I wrote my first fiction novel (‘The Naked Knitting Club’); and was the real turning point in my journey. By permitting myself to write, I allowed myself to step into my creativity, and this was powerful.

Writing, in many shapes and forms, has always been with me throughout my childhood to now. I love words and now see their importance in our lives. Our words shape us. I believe in the Power of Words, and know through NLP how important it is the words we use and the beliefs we form.

In my book ‘Write to Heal’ I share ten ways that writing helped me on my healing journey, and techniques I still use today. I am a ‘Work-in-Progress’, and slowly, I am healing, layer by layer. Each step of the journey makes me feel freer and lighter as the burden of pain and suffering eases.

I wrote this book to share my insights and learnings with the world, in the hope that it will support other people on their own healing journey and bring them, step-by-step, to transforming their own lives to enjoy a happier and more joyful life.

My mission, and wish, is to provide some simple and easy to use tools for others to overcome and heal their own pain and suffering.


Life is a Train Ride

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Life is a Journey – a rollercoaster ride from birth to death, from the cradle to the grave; this is the reality of our human experience. 

– Janet Groom

For some, that journey is relatively straightforward, as they meander along in a cocoon of contentment; for others it is a hectic and chaotic ride, bouncing from one drama to the next, interlaced with a few stolen moments of tranquillity. Most of us are somewhere in-between with periods of calm sailing, interspersed with jolts of stormy seas, with occasional frantic bursts of swimming against the current trying to get back to a safe harbour we have long left behind.

Oh, yes, life is a journey, and I was reminded this as I rode the train today, and it struck me how a simple train ride is comparable with life’s journey.

OK, here I go trying to capture in words my thoughts and insights, based on my experience and observations.

Where do you get onboard?

I boarded the train at my start station, and how did I know where to start? Well, it was a case of choosing the nearest train station to my home. Simple and easy — it didn’t take any significant consideration. And this is like birth; we are born. Do we choose the ‘station’ where we are born? Some would say that we do, or perhaps we jump on at the nearest station to our home without too much thought.

Now, I should, of course, mention that which train you alight depends on where you want to go. Most of us have in mind a destianation of where we wish to travel to, that is not to say that some people just love jumping on a train without any plan and are quite happy to end up where they end up — the majority of us don’t, we need to know where we are going.

Where Do You Choose to Seat?

From my chosen seat, I watch the world go by as the train travels forward along the tracks towards my destination. I enjoy watching the world rush towards me with stunning views overlooking Lake Zurich (I admit I did choose to sit to the left, as I knew it had preferential views of the lake). It is an enjoyable and pleasurable experience and it makes me smile.

Now, as for my fellow passengers, I can only assume they had varying experiences — some watched the world fly by looking out the window on the other side of the carriage; others looked back at the views passing behind us, and those upstairs enjoy the advantage of a slightly higher elevation over the rooftops. And then there were a few passengers heads bent over their phones or buried in a book, oblivious to the scenes unfolding, lost in the depths of their own self-absorbed worlds.

As the train trundles along the tracks heading to a pre-defined destination, which helpfully is displayed on the noticeboard at the end of each carriage, we are notified of the stations along the way along with an announcement of the next upcoming scheduled to stop.

Do You Stay On or Get Off?

I watch as some people get off at these stations with a sense of purpose, while new passengers clamber aboard and take up residence in the recently vacated seats.

With interest, I realise that I could choose to alight at any of the stations along the way. It is within my control. However, I know where I wanted to go. I have already decided upon my end destination. I was clear on where I wanted to go and where my particular journey would end. Between watching the array of shops, houses, gardens and streets appear before me, I listened and as my journey neared it’s end, I was ready and had my belongings at hand when we pulled up and joined the myriad of travellers to getting off.

Life is like a Train Ride

Life is like my train journey, we get on the train of life and some of us where we are going, some go so far and change train, some have no clue and just stay onboard afraid to miss their stop, and others are free spirits getting on and off as they feel inclined to do so. Depending on where we wish to go some may chose the slower, scenic route and enjoy the luxury of the views along the way, while others may select the ultra-fast trains, with a view to get there as fast as they can.

Even choosing the same train journey, each person will have their own unique experience on-board. Everyone’s perspective will be different depending on their position and how engaged they are in looking out the window, watching the antics of other passengers, or burying their head in the distraction of their choosing.

As a writer, travelling, even a short train ride, can inspire my creative side. Sometimes, I watch the passing view, and other times I ‘people watch’ and occasionally I bury my head in a book or entertain myself with my iPhone.

Life is a Journey

Life is a journey, and we are all having a different experience as we are all unique and even on the same ‘train heading to the same destination’ — our choices and perspectives will ensure none of us has the identical ride, and that’s what makes life’s journey special.

There is no right or wrong journey, it is up to you and all you need to do is sit back and enjoy it. Some people will and some people won’t — it is up to you!

Relax and enjoy your life’s train ride, it can be a pretty amazing adventure if you allow it!

2019 – INTENTIONS

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Make 2019 Your Year to Sparkle & Shine by Tuning into Self-Care, Self-Compassion and Self-Love

“The greatest gift you can give yourself is the gift of self-love.”

– Janet Groom

Time to Sparkle & Shine

New Year, New Me!

OK, it starts the same way every year, but this year I am determined to bring in the changes I long for. Enough — feeling sorry for myself. Enough — not caring about myself. Enough — making lame excuses.

This is the year I am digging deep to flick the switch in my head and make the changes happen.

I know what I need to do. It’s not rocket science, I need to WANT to make the changes from deep within — in fact, my Soul yearns for it. It wants to be free from the shackles of the emotional baggage I drag around. It desires to be lighter to shine brighter and revel in the waves of joy life brings my way. It wishes to fly and soar, as free as a bird. And I am the only one who can make it happen.

So, this New Year is not starting with resolutions which invariably fall flat at the first hurdle, but with powerful clear INTENTIONS being set, with my head and heart aligned with a deep sense of conviction –now this is the time!

Intentions

I prefer now to set INTENTIONS, previously it was goals.

Intentions make me feel better. They are like strong wishes made by my Soul, with my head and heart onboard. Goals feel heavy and burdensome, whereas Intentions feel lighter, like butterflies surrounded with love and light, and this means they are easier for me to be drawn to — they appeal, which is a vital part of the process.

So now, I take time to tune into my desires for the year ahead and write down my intentions. I believe that writing them down helps to make them more real, like seeds being planted in the spring. These seeds are then watered with an unwavering desire to nurture them and bring them to life.

Inspired Action

Thinking about your INTENTIONS on their own is not sufficient to turn them into reality (oh, I wish it was!). It is important to consider each Intention and consider ways in which you can play your part to assist them to fruition. Let’s call this INSPIRED ACTION. That’s right you need to do something to aid the process. We need to look at ways we can do our part to help the intention develop and grow.

For example, last year I set the intention to write and publish my debut novel, an idea that sat with me some 15 years, but it only happened when I set a firm intention and did the work to turn it into a reality. On 27 November 2018, my first book ‘The Naked Knitting Club’ was released into the world.

Sitting thinking about it was not going to make it happen — I needed to take inspired action to shift it from a dream to a reality, and so it is with any intention.

Plans, Milestones and Goals

OK, I said that I don’t like goals, however they do serve a purpose as part of the inspired action. As a Transformational Coach, and former Project Manager, I know the value in planning for success when undertaking any project; along with the benefit of breaking it down into small steps.

So, once the Intention is locked in firmly in my heart, I sit down and assess what action needs to be taken, and then break it down to smaller, more easily achieved steps. I’m afraid there is no magic wand here, it is all down to doing the work and putting in the right energy to get those wonderful results.

I start with working out what is my desired end result, and then plan out the steps (milestones/goals) to get there. A ‘start at the end and work backwards’ approach, works for me. It’s like planning a journey — you normally know where you want to go, and then you work out your preferred route to get there.

Ownership and Choices

When you set any intention, you must ensure that it is what YOU truly want. You must feel a strong desire towards it. If you are doing it because you SHOULD then it will feel heavy, like a burden weighing you down, and this will not work. CHOOSE to make changes and set intentions that FEEL right to you, because you want to achieve them.
I guess I would describe it as your heart hugging the desire with a passion that does not want to let it go — your heart becomes entwined with the desire, held in a tight lover’s embrace.

Follow Your Heart

The only one who knows what is right for you, is YOU!

Over the years, I have learnt how important it is to tune into your heart and find out what is the right thing for you. YOU are the one responsible in this life for making the right decisions and choices for your own well-being. My HEART is my internal GPS system, and I tune in to it by placing my hand on my heart (heart chakra) and asking for guidance on what is the right thing for me.

If you are not used to doing this, start doing this and make the space to listen. After all, the person who knows you the best and what is the best for you — is YOU!

Self-Care, Self-Compassion & Self-Love

Stepping into your personal empowerment, knowing what is right for you and making choices to support your grow and development, comes from SELF-LOVE.

Unfortunately, many of us lose touch with this important aspect as we are conditioned by our modern society to bend to suit the wishes of those around us. We become so out-of-touch with who we really are that we become numb to what is right for us.

To get back in tune with ourselves, we need to grow our LOVE for ourselves, and this is done through self-care and self-compassion. Learning to be kind to ourselves. Learning to put ourselves to the top of the list and do what is needed to nurture ourselves back to a place where we feel ourselves again.

SELF-LOVE is the key to our personal success and happiness in life. By re-focussing on ourselves and boosting our own energy, health, happiness and well-being; we are then able to serve those whom we care about in a healthier way.

Write, Read, Believe, Achieve

I WRITE out my INTENTIONS to set them and allow my head and heart to get onboard and align with passion and drive.

I READ my INTENTIONS regularly (daily is ideal) to keep my focus fixed on them.

I BELIEVE in my desire and unwavering truth that they are in my highest good, and that I am being supported by the Universe to succeed.

I know in my heart I can ACHIEVE the results I want, and celebrate each milestone on the journey to my heart’s desire.

Sparkle & Shine

Following my heartfelt INTENTIONS, I find that my heart opens more and more. I feel lighter and brighter, my mood and general well-being improves. I feel I RADIATE and GLOW — my inner light is shining brighter and brighter. I feel much better in myself and I am able to deal with the challenges of life easier, without spiralling down into a dark depressive state.

LIFE is for living, for loving, for enjoying — set INTENTIONS now that make your Soul sing!

Go on and make 2019 the year you 
set Intentions 
to grow your SELF-LOVE, 
tune into your Heart and 
allow yourself to
 SPARKLE & SHINE

I invite you to check out the first episode in the SELF-CARE, SELF-COMPASSION and SELF-LOVE series of interviews coming up this year on ‘The WRITE Word Show’ — a little inspiration guiding us all to tune into the benefits of SELF-LOVE and supporting us to SPARKLE & SHINE!