The Perfectionism Trap: It Drains Your Energy and Joy – 8 Ways to Break Free

PERFECTIONISM is a stealer of joy.
It is time to set yourself free from this self-made prison.

Perfectionism is the stealer of joy - set yourself free

Perfectionism is the stealer of joy – set yourself free

 

INTRODUCTION:

In a world that celebrates excellence and achievement, perfectionism often masquerades as a desirable trait. We’re taught from a young age to strive for perfection in our work, relationships, and personal endeavours. However, what we often fail to recognize is that the pursuit of perfection can become a relentless burden, draining our energy and robbing us of the joy of life.

Perfectionism is the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. It’s the relentless drive to achieve flawless results, coupled with harsh self-criticism when expectations aren’t met. While striving for excellence can be admirable, perfectionism takes it to an unhealthy extreme, leading to anxiety, stress, and a constant sense of inadequacy.

KINTSUGI is the Japanese practice of mending broken object with gold, transforming them from being ‘flawed’ into beautiful works of art. We, as humans, are flawed by our nature but by healing through the power of love, we transform ourselves into something beautiful.

(Find out more about Kintsugi here>>>)

‘LACK OF SELF-WORTH FUELS PERFECTIONISM’

One of the most significant ways perfectionism drains our energy is through the constant need for validation and approval. When we set impossibly high standards for ourselves, we become dependent on external praise to feel worthy. This dependence on external validation puts us in a perpetual cycle of seeking approval, leaving us feeling depleted and unfulfilled when it’s not forthcoming.

Moreover, perfectionism often leads to procrastination and paralysis. The fear of making mistakes or falling short of perfection can paralyze us into inaction, preventing us from taking risks and pursuing our goals. We become so focused on avoiding failure that we miss out on valuable opportunities for growth and learning.

Perfectionism also takes a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. The constant pressure to meet unrealistic standards can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and burnout. We become hypercritical of ourselves and others, fostering a negative mindset that erodes our self-esteem and joy for life.

Flawed is beautiful and perfect in its own way

Flawed is beautiful and perfect in its own way

 

So how can we overcome the grip of perfectionism and reclaim our energy and joy? Here are eight strategies to help break free from the perfectionism trap:

  1. Set Realistic Intentions: Instead of aiming for perfection, set achievable aims that challenge you without setting you up for failure. Break larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, and celebrate progress along the way.
    (Read the Blog Post on INTENTIONS)
  2. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when things don’t go as planned. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion, acknowledging that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process.
    (Listen to the Heart & Soul Show episode about SELF-COMPASSION)
  3. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Learn to recognize and challenge the perfectionistic thoughts that fuel your anxiety and self-doubt. Ask yourself if your standards are realistic and whether they contribute to your overall well-being.
  4. Acceptance: Accept that perfection is an unrealistic ideal and that making mistakes is a natural part of being human. Embrace imperfection as an opportunity for growth and learning, rather than a sign of failure.
  5. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Shift your focus from achieving flawless results to making progress and learning from your experiences. Celebrate your efforts and accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.
  6. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to unrealistic demands and expectations, both from yourself and others. Establish boundaries that prioritize your well-being and allow you to pursue what truly matters to you.
    (Watch the Heart & Soul Show episode about BOUNDARIES)
  7. Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate mindfulness through practices such as meditation, yoga, or simply taking moments to pause and breathe. Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your perfectionistic tendencies and respond to them with greater clarity and compassion.
  8. Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to reach out for support from friends, family, or a therapist. Talking about your struggles with perfectionism can help you gain perspective and find healthier ways to cope.

 

CONCLUSION:

Breaking free from the grip of perfectionism is a journey that requires patience, self-awareness, and self-compassion. By challenging perfectionistic thoughts, embracing imperfection, and focusing on progress rather than perfection, you can reclaim your energy and joy for life.

Release PERFECT and enjoy life - have fun

Release PERFECT and enjoy life – have fun

Remember, you are worthy and deserving of love and acceptance just as you are, flaws and all.
YOU ARE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT!

 

2023 Signature Janet Groom Soul Magic Coach

Join me in 2024 and Re-ignite Your SOUL PURPOSE and find your AUTHENTIC SELF

UNLOCK YOUR
SOUL PURPOSE

Are you feeling lost, searching for meaning, or yearning to embark on a journey that aligns with your deepest desires?

Your soul holds the key to your true purpose, and our ‘Unlock Your Soul Purpose’ coaching package is here to guide you on this transformative path.

Discover Your Unique Path:
This coaching package is not just about finding your purpose; it’s about understanding the intricate map of your soul. I will be your compassionate guide, helping you navigate the depths of your inner world to unveil your soul’s true calling.

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Embracing January: 8 Ways to Beat the Blues and Fall Back in Love with Winter

   Why do so many of us struggle in January with feeling down
and what can we do about it?

 

 

Introduction:

Ah, January – the month of new beginnings, resolutions, and fresh starts. However, for many, it’s also the time when the January blues kick in, making it a bit challenging to fully embrace the new year. If you find yourself struggling with the post-festive season slump, fear not!

Here are eight ways to learn to love January and banish those post-holiday blues and learn to love the magic of mid-winter.

Fed up and feeling down in January after the holidays then discover 8 Ways to Beat the Blues and Fall back in Love with Winter

1. Hygge Heaven: Transform Your Space

 One of the best ways to combat the January blues is to create a cosy sanctuary in your own home. Embrace the Danish concept of “hygge” by adding soft blankets, fluffy cushions, and warm lighting to your living space. Create a haven where you can relax and unwind, making your home a place of comfort and joy during the cold winter days.

2. Set Intentions and Take Baby Steps to Success

 The pressure to set ambitious New Year’s resolutions can contribute to the January blues. Instead of overwhelming yourself with grand goals, opt for intentions which feel lighter. If you are opting for goal setting, make sure you break down your resolutions into manageable smaller tasks. Then celebrate each accomplishment. By taking baby steps, you’ll build momentum and gain a sense of achievement that can help lift your spirits. (Read the blog about INTENTIONS).

3. Embrace the Great Outdoors: Winter Wanders

The countryside, even in the winter months, has its own unique charm. Bundle up in your warmest coat, don a stylish scarf, and head outdoors for a brisk winter walk. Whether it’s a stroll through a local park or a hike in the countryside, connecting with nature can have a rejuvenating effect on your mood. Plus, you’ll get some much-needed fresh air and exercise which all helps to fire up your happy hormones (endorphins) which aid stress and pain relief.


Beat January Blue by embracing the magic of mid-winter with a winter walk

4. Culinary Comforts: Winter Warmers

Warm the cockles of your Soul with hearty and comforting winter dishes. Indulge in classics like a steaming bowl of homemade soup, a savoury pie or a hearty stew. Cooking can be a therapeutic activity and the delicious results will not only satisfy your taste buds but also provide a sense of accomplishment. Invite friends over for a winter feast and make it a social event to raise everyone’s spirits.

 

5. Light Up Your Life: Combatting the Darkness

January days may be shorter and darker, but that doesn’t mean your surroundings have to be gloomy. Particularly, if you suffer with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), then invest in some soft, warm lighting to brighten up your living space. Consider fairy lights, candles, or a Himalayan salt lamp for a cosy and calming atmosphere. Creating a well-lit and inviting environment can make a significant difference in your mood during the winter months.

 

 6. Mindful Moments: Find Your Zen

Combat the January blues by incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine. Whether it’s through meditation, yoga, or simply taking a few moments each day to focus on your breath, mindfulness can help you stay present and cultivate a positive mindset. There are plenty of apps and online resources to guide you through mindfulness practices, making it accessible for beginners.

 

7. Plan Something to Look Forward To and Beat the Winter Rut

Having something exciting on the horizon can make January more bearable. Plan a weekend getaway, a day trip to a nearby city, or even a pamper spa date with friends. Having a future event to anticipate can help shift your focus from the winter blues and inject some excitement into your month.

 

8. Embrace the Season: Winter Wonders

Instead of wishing away the winter months, embrace the unique joys that January brings. Whether it’s building a snowman, enjoying winter sports, or sipping on a hot chocolate by the fire, find activities that make the most of the season. By appreciating the beauty and charm of winter, you’ll discover that January has its own special magic.

So, there you have it – eight simple ways to learn to love January, even if you suffer from the blues. With a bit of hygge, intention setting, outdoor adventures, comforting food, time with friends and mindful moments – you can turn this potentially challenging month into a time of rejuvenation and positivity.

Find ways to overcome the Winter Blues and warm your soul

Cheers to embracing mid-winter with open arms and a warm heart!

2023 Signature Janet Groom Soul Magic Coach

FREE 2024 Oracle Card Reading - download and tune into the energy of each month

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Join me in 2024 and Re-ignite Your SOUL PURPOSE and find your AUTHENTIC SELF

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SOUL PURPOSE

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Unlocking Potential: The Flexibility and Power of New Year Intentions Over Goals

   Allow your true Purpose and Potential to shine through by using the power of Intentions to define your desires

Introduction:

As the dawn of a new year approaches, the age-old tradition of setting New Year’s resolutions and goals takes center stage. However, there’s a subtle yet transformative alternative gaining momentum—setting INTENTIONS.

In this blog post, we explore the flexibility and inherent advantages of intentions over traditional goal-setting, shedding light on why this approach may be more conducive to personal growth, adaptability, and overall well-being.

Unlock your purpose and potential this year using the power of Intentions

1. Embracing Fluidity in Change:

Setting intentions provides a more flexible framework compared to rigid goals. Life is dynamic, and circumstances often change. Intentions allow you to navigate this ebb and flow with grace, adapting your path as needed. Instead of a fixed endpoint, intentions offer a guiding principle, enabling you to respond to evolving situations with greater ease. Intentions offer flexibility to shift and adapt as required, going with the flow of life.

2. Fostering Mindful Presence:

Intentions focus on the present moment rather than a future achievement. This mindfulness cultivates a deeper connection with your actions and decisions. By staying present, you are more attuned to your values and can make choices aligned with your authentic self. This mindful presence fosters a sense of fulfillment and purpose throughout the journey.

3. Encouraging Personal Growth and Exploration:

Intentions are expansive, allowing for exploration and personal growth. Instead of confining yourself to a specific outcome, setting intentions invites you to embrace the process of becoming. This openness encourages self-discovery, providing room for unexpected opportunities and discoveries along the way.

4. Reducing Performance Pressure:

Traditional goal-setting often comes with the weight of performance pressure. Intentions, on the other hand, emphasize the journey rather than a destination. This approach minimizes stress and anxiety, allowing you to focus on personal development without the constant pressure to meet predefined benchmarks. Goals can feel like a burden and if they are not achieved, it can lead to a sense of failure and lowering of your self-esteem and confidence.

5. Adapting to Changing Circumstances:

Life is inherently unpredictable, and intentions acknowledge this reality. If circumstances shift unexpectedly, intentions can be adjusted without the need for a complete overhaul. This adaptability promotes resilience and helps you maintain momentum, even in the face of unforeseen challenges.

6. Aligning with Personal Values:

Intentions are rooted in personal values, allowing for a more profound connection to your aspirations. By aligning with your values, you create a sense of purpose that transcends specific goals. This alignment fosters a more enduring motivation, ensuring that your pursuits are meaningful and fulfilling. You feel more attuned to your intentions and this connection holds a stronger energy which offers more support.

7. Cultivating a Positive Mindset:

Intentions focus on positive attributes and attitudes, nurturing a more optimistic mindset. Rather than framing your aspirations in terms of what you lack or need to change, intentions encourage a positive affirmation of who you want to become. This shift in perspective contributes to a healthier and more empowering outlook on personal growth.

8. Enhancing Self-Compassion:

Intentions are inherently compassionate. If you veer off course or face setbacks, intentions provide a forgiving framework. Instead of perceiving deviations as failures, you view them as opportunities for learning and growth. This self-compassion is vital for maintaining motivation and resilience throughout your journey.

9. Encouraging Holistic Well-Being:

Intentions extend beyond specific achievements, encompassing various aspects of well-being. Whether focusing on emotional, physical, or spiritual growth, intentions promote a holistic approach to self-improvement. This comprehensive perspective contributes to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

10. Creating Sustainable Habits:

Intentions naturally lend themselves to the formation of sustainable habits. By fostering a continuous mindset of growth and self-discovery, intentions become integrated into your daily life. This consistency allows for the gradual development of habits that align with your overarching aspirations. Instead of becoming hyper-focussed on the expected outcome, you learn to be more open to the Universe offering opportunities you could never have foreseen.

Conclusion:

As the new year beckons, consider embracing the transformative power of intentions over traditional goal-setting. The flexibility, adaptability, and holistic nature of intentions pave the way for a more mindful, fulfilling, and purpose-driven journey.

By focusing on the present moment, aligning with personal values, and cultivating a positive mindset, you unlock the potential for sustained growth and well-being throughout the year and beyond. Here’s to a new chapter filled with intentions that resonate with the true essence of who you are and who you aspire to become.

Intentions to unlock your potential in the new year

Use INTENTIONS to take a more flexible and lighter approach
to achieving your desires.
Be open to the Universe opening unexpected doors 
and take a more fun approach
to find success in 2024.

2023 Signature Janet Groom Soul Magic Coach

FREE 2024 Oracle Card Reading - download and tune into the energy of each month

FREE 2024 Oracle Card Reading with Channelled Soul Wisdom

Join me in 2024 and Re-ignite Your SOUL PURPOSE and find your AUTHENTIC SELF

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SOUL PURPOSE

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Your soul holds the key to your true purpose, and our ‘Unlock Your Soul Purpose’ coaching package is here to guide you on this transformative path.

Discover Your Unique Path:
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Time to look back and count our Blessings from 2023

 

Introduction:

This year has flown by and, certainly compared with the last few years, it has felt like a good one. There have been many highlights and I finally feel a deep sense of being grounded. After the turmoil (Covid and many other personal challenges), it is good to feel an innate feeling of contentment. So, let’s take a look at 2023 from my personal perspective…

(You may care to also read the blog post on REFLECTION > click here)

2023 REVIEW: Look Back over the Year and Counting My Blessings

1. Cherishing the Highlights:

Several big highlights for me are as follows:

(1)  Becoming a ‘Fur Baby Mum’ to a gorgeous, lively and curious Cockapoo pup called Bailey (Miss). Some of you may know my backstory of experiencing menopause as a teenager and never having the children I longed for. I suffered for decades with shame, self-loathing, confusion and grief. We adore Bailey and she has added a new dynamic to our family unit. A puppy is not easy, however she brings us so much joy.

Miss Bailey Boo Boo Cockapoo December 2023

(2)  A trip to Dubai with my friend to celebrate her 50th. Dubai has always held a fascination for me and having transited the airport a few times, I was curious to see the city. What a surreal place to visit. It was a fabulous experience and we created so many wonderful memories. That said, I prefer the stillness of nature over the contrived ‘disneyland-esque’ buidings of Dubai.

2. Acknowledge the Challenges:

This year I had surgery on my foot to correct and issue which was causing me quite a bit of pain. I am thankful to have the surgery over and it has made such a difference, I can now enjoy my daily dog walks. Having a period of recovery forced upon me, it reminded me to be grateful for all the simple things I take for granted – like having a shower, walking, being mobile and independent and driving my car. Additionally, it was a time to pause and enjoy the luxury of reading and indulging in some online learning, some of which I used to enhance my healing. Definitely, a number of learnings from the experience.

3. Store the Good Memories:

This year, I have also had a few visits back to Northern Ireland to see my parents and family. On both occasions we managed to get together and enjoy quality time catching up and being together. I am so thankful to still have my parents and I enjoy reminising with my siblings. In my mind I hold snapshots of these events as a reminder.

4. Learnings:

Life is one long learning adventure, and I firmly believe this. Every step along our spiritual journey is about experiences and learnings. Each time we face a challenge and come through it, we grow and learn something valuable. Keep learning and growing and acknowledge that challenges are merely ‘tests’ to uplevel. The last few years have been filled with obstacles and challenges, these have been reminders that I have what I need within me. This was a powerful time of growth for me.

5. Express Gratitude:

When I look back over 2023, there are many wonderful things to be thankful for (a few I have mentioned already). Each day is a new beginning and holds the energy of excitement, like a bud bursting into bloom. I now cherish my days and marvel at the world around me. My dear pup has helped me to stop and be curious about the world – she has helped me to shift my lens and see things in a new way… and for that, I am very grateful.

(You may care to read the blog post on GRATITUDE > click here )


Soul Magic with Janet living a life filled with Love and Joy

6. Set Intentions for the Future:

I prefer to set INTENTIONS as opposed to ‘goals’. The word ‘goal’ feels heavy and a burden, whereas an Intention feels lighter, more like a strong desire or wish. When it comes to manifesting your desires into reality, you need to hold the right vibrational energy. Feeling lighter and taking a more playful approach to your desires is more likely to be taken onboard by the Universe. The higher your personal vibrational energy, the better the results. I will be setting my Intentions at the end of December.

7. Celebrate Personal Growth:

2023 has been a remarkable year for my own personal spiritual growth. I feel there has been a strong shift in the right direction. I am more grounded, which means I feel more stable and secure (safe) where I am in my life and fear has subsided. I have been working on healing my ROOT Chakra and this has made a huge difference to my sense of well-being. Exploring new healing modalities has opened new doors to greater understanding. There is so much we don’t know and I am keen to learn beyond the limitations of this world.

Conclusion:

I release and continue to release the things which are holding me back. I will welcome 2024 with a SOUL excited for the new and hold less fear for the unknown. When you step back from the daily grind, you start to witness a bigger and more expansive picture of reality. And this picture offers so much more than we can image.

May 2024 bring you many blessings and may your SOUL radiate with love and joy, that is my wish for every one and may peace grow through compassion, love and a deep connection of oneness.


Soul Magic with Janet radiate light and shine in 2024

Make 2024 the year
you allow your SOUL MAGIC to shine!

2023 Signature Janet Groom Soul Magic Coach

Join me in 2024 and Re-ignite Your SOUL PURPOSE and find your AUTHENTIC SELF

UNLOCK YOUR
SOUL PURPOSE

Are you feeling lost, searching for meaning, or yearning to embark on a journey that aligns with your deepest desires?

Your soul holds the key to your true purpose, and our ‘Unlock Your Soul Purpose’ coaching package is here to guide you on this transformative path.

Discover Your Unique Path:
This coaching package is not just about finding your purpose; it’s about understanding the intricate map of your soul. I will be your compassionate guide, helping you navigate the depths of your inner world to unveil your soul’s true calling.

Heart & Soul: 10 Ways to Live a Heart and Soul-Led Life

NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE

Uncover the Secrets to Living a Heart and Soul-led Life!

This ebook is the second in the Heart & Soul – Discover the Magic Within series. In this ebook the authors, Caroline Palmy and Janet Groom, share their insights, wisdom, stories and experiences following the discussion topics from episodes 11-20 of the Heart & Soul Show (podcast and YouTube).

This book covers the following:

1. The Moon
2. The Sun
3. Books
4. Boundaries
5. Forgiveness
6. Clearing and Cleansing
7. Sleep
8. Acceptance
9. Loneliness
10. Manifesting

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Wintering is the time to make space to take stock and allowing deep self nourishment, healing and reflection.

 

As winter descends, Nature gracefully slows its pace, inviting us to do the same. In the art of ‘wintering’, we find an opportunity to turn inward, to self-nourish, to rest and to reflect over the past year.

This season, often viewed as a time of quiet dormancy, holds the key to replenishing our spirits and embracing the transformative power of stillness.

Embracing Wintering: A Season of Self-Nourishment and Rest

The Magic of Wintering:

Wintering is more than a season; it’s a state of mind. As the world outside hibernates beneath blankets of cold winds, ice and even snow — we, too, can cocoon ourselves in moments of introspection. It’s a chance to acknowledge the cycles of life, to honor the ebb and flow that exists not only in Nature but deep within our Souls.

Self-Nourishment in Stillness

Amid the chill of winter, we find warmth in self-nourishment. This is the time to indulge in the simple pleasures that feed our Soul — whether it’s curling up with a good book, sipping a steaming cup of camomile tea, or taking leisurely walks in the crisp air. By embracing these moments, we provide our minds and bodies with the sustenance they need to decompress from the stresses and strains of modern living.

Self-nourishment in Stillness: Wintering

Rest as a Form of Renewal:

Wintering advocates for rest, not as a sign of weakness, but as a powerful tool for renewal. Just as the earth rejuvenates beneath its icy blanket, our bodies and minds benefit from a period of intentional rest. Whether through extended hours of sleep, afternoon naps, or moments of quiet meditation, rest becomes a pathway to inner revitalization.

Click here to Download Your FREE ‘Sleep Meditation’ 

Cultivating Mindfulness:

Wintering invites us to be present, to fully immerse ourselves in the beauty of the season. Mindfulness becomes a guiding principle, encouraging us to let go of the hectic pace of life and to appreciate the subtle wonders that winter unfolds. Each snowflake, each breath of frosty air, becomes a reminder of the beauty inherent in the stillness. Live in each precious moment and open your Soul to the joy to be uncovered.

Review and Reflection:

As another year draws to a close, sit back, close your eyes and allow your heart and soul to review and reflect over the past months. Recall the memories to treasure and the lessons to review and release. The cycle of the year mirrors the cycle in our lives and when we accept Nature’s way, we lean into the power of Divine Source.

Conclusion:

In the tapestry of the seasons, wintering emerges as a thread of self-nourishment, rest and reflection. As we surrender to the quiet beauty of this season, we discover the transformative power that lies within the gentle embrace of winter.

So, let this be a season of reflection, of self-care, and of embracing the nourishing rest that winter graciously offers — a time to retreat, rejuvenate and emerge into the promise of spring with a heart renewed.

Wintering: Cozy Hibernation to Reflect and Heal

What will you do this Winter to embrace the season of self-nourishment, rest and reflection?

2023 Signature Janet Groom Soul Magic Coach

Heart & Soul Book 2: Ten Ways to Live a Heart & Soul-led Life

DUE FOR RELEASE 12 December 2023

Uncover the Secrets to Living a Heart and Soul-led Life!

This ebook is the second in the Heart & Soul – Discover the Magic Within series. In this ebook the authors, Caroline Palmy and Janet Groom, share their insights, wisdom, stories and experiences following the discussion topics from episodes 11-20 of the Heart & Soul Show (podcast and YouTube).

This book covers the following:

1. The Moon
2. The Sun
3. Books
4. Boundaries
5. Forgiveness
6. Clearing and Cleansing
7. Sleep
8. Acceptance
9. Loneliness
10. Manifesting

UNLOCK YOUR
SOUL PURPOSE

Are you feeling lost, searching for meaning, or yearning to embark on a journey that aligns with your deepest desires?

Your soul holds the key to your true purpose, and our ‘Unlock Your Soul Purpose’ coaching package is here to guide you on this transformative path.

Discover Your Unique Path:
This coaching package is not just about finding your purpose; it’s about understanding the intricate map of your soul. I will be your compassionate guide, helping you navigate the depths of your inner world to unveil your soul’s true calling.

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