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The Perfectionism Trap: It Drains Your Energy and Joy – 8 Ways to Break Free

PERFECTIONISM is a stealer of joy.
It is time to set yourself free from this self-made prison.

Perfectionism is the stealer of joy - set yourself free

Perfectionism is the stealer of joy – set yourself free

 

INTRODUCTION:

In a world that celebrates excellence and achievement, perfectionism often masquerades as a desirable trait. We’re taught from a young age to strive for perfection in our work, relationships, and personal endeavours. However, what we often fail to recognize is that the pursuit of perfection can become a relentless burden, draining our energy and robbing us of the joy of life.

Perfectionism is the belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. It’s the relentless drive to achieve flawless results, coupled with harsh self-criticism when expectations aren’t met. While striving for excellence can be admirable, perfectionism takes it to an unhealthy extreme, leading to anxiety, stress, and a constant sense of inadequacy.

KINTSUGI is the Japanese practice of mending broken object with gold, transforming them from being ‘flawed’ into beautiful works of art. We, as humans, are flawed by our nature but by healing through the power of love, we transform ourselves into something beautiful.

(Find out more about Kintsugi here>>>)

‘LACK OF SELF-WORTH FUELS PERFECTIONISM’

One of the most significant ways perfectionism drains our energy is through the constant need for validation and approval. When we set impossibly high standards for ourselves, we become dependent on external praise to feel worthy. This dependence on external validation puts us in a perpetual cycle of seeking approval, leaving us feeling depleted and unfulfilled when it’s not forthcoming.

Moreover, perfectionism often leads to procrastination and paralysis. The fear of making mistakes or falling short of perfection can paralyze us into inaction, preventing us from taking risks and pursuing our goals. We become so focused on avoiding failure that we miss out on valuable opportunities for growth and learning.

Perfectionism also takes a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. The constant pressure to meet unrealistic standards can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and burnout. We become hypercritical of ourselves and others, fostering a negative mindset that erodes our self-esteem and joy for life.

Flawed is beautiful and perfect in its own way

Flawed is beautiful and perfect in its own way

 

So how can we overcome the grip of perfectionism and reclaim our energy and joy? Here are eight strategies to help break free from the perfectionism trap:

  1. Set Realistic Intentions: Instead of aiming for perfection, set achievable aims that challenge you without setting you up for failure. Break larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, and celebrate progress along the way.
    (Read the Blog Post on INTENTIONS)
  2. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when things don’t go as planned. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion, acknowledging that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process.
    (Listen to the Heart & Soul Show episode about SELF-COMPASSION)
  3. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Learn to recognize and challenge the perfectionistic thoughts that fuel your anxiety and self-doubt. Ask yourself if your standards are realistic and whether they contribute to your overall well-being.
  4. Acceptance: Accept that perfection is an unrealistic ideal and that making mistakes is a natural part of being human. Embrace imperfection as an opportunity for growth and learning, rather than a sign of failure.
  5. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Shift your focus from achieving flawless results to making progress and learning from your experiences. Celebrate your efforts and accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.
  6. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to unrealistic demands and expectations, both from yourself and others. Establish boundaries that prioritize your well-being and allow you to pursue what truly matters to you.
    (Watch the Heart & Soul Show episode about BOUNDARIES)
  7. Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate mindfulness through practices such as meditation, yoga, or simply taking moments to pause and breathe. Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your perfectionistic tendencies and respond to them with greater clarity and compassion.
  8. Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to reach out for support from friends, family, or a therapist. Talking about your struggles with perfectionism can help you gain perspective and find healthier ways to cope.

 

CONCLUSION:

Breaking free from the grip of perfectionism is a journey that requires patience, self-awareness, and self-compassion. By challenging perfectionistic thoughts, embracing imperfection, and focusing on progress rather than perfection, you can reclaim your energy and joy for life.

Release PERFECT and enjoy life - have fun

Release PERFECT and enjoy life – have fun

Remember, you are worthy and deserving of love and acceptance just as you are, flaws and all.
YOU ARE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT!

 

2023 Signature Janet Groom Soul Magic Coach

Join me in 2024 and Re-ignite Your SOUL PURPOSE and find your AUTHENTIC SELF

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SOUL PURPOSE

Are you feeling lost, searching for meaning, or yearning to embark on a journey that aligns with your deepest desires?

Your soul holds the key to your true purpose, and our ‘Unlock Your Soul Purpose’ coaching package is here to guide you on this transformative path.

Discover Your Unique Path:
This coaching package is not just about finding your purpose; it’s about understanding the intricate map of your soul. I will be your compassionate guide, helping you navigate the depths of your inner world to unveil your soul’s true calling.

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Acceptance


The MAGIC of ACCEPTANCE
is PEACE

Do you struggle to Accept certain things in your life?

ACCEPTANCE is a vital step in the journey towards finding inner peace and living an authentic life.

Let me tell you how our new puppy has been teaching us – big time – to accept a lot of changes in our lives. It was our decision, after many years of wanting a puppy, to invite this gorgeous litte Cockapoo (Miss Bailey) into our home… and hearts.

However, no matter how much people warned us, we were not quite prepared for the chaos she has brought with her.

Like any new first time puppy parents, we struggle with adjusting to the upheaval that comes along with such a small fur baby. A crate, pen, pee pads, chew toys and the list goes on. We have ACCEPT that we can’t go out and do things spare of the moment, nor can I keep our normal relaxed schedule – as her main hooman, I can only do things when she sleeps – thank goodness puppies sleep a lot!

It is only now I am in a place in my life that I can cope with all that owning a puppy involves – sharp teeth, smells, poop. A number of years back, I was a ‘perfectionist’ and serious ‘control freak’. This was part of my coping mechanism to keep functioning living with unresolved trauma and PTSD. I lived on my own and became OCD with everything having to be just right spot and hated when anyone entered my personal sanctuary and disrupted my space. Invasion caused me undue stress and anxiety.

Perfectionism is a burden
and a letting go through ACCEPTANCE
is liberating.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To ACCEPT the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
ACCEPTING hardships as the pathway to peace; …

Amen.

 

By working to understand and heal my past, helped me to reach a stage whereby I could accept things when they don’t go as planned (or should I say, to my ‘perfect expectation’… that’s a whole other blog topic!). 

Now, I think of the SERENITY PRAYER and if it something I can change, I’ll work to change it, otherwise I have to learn to let go of the things outside my control and ACCEPT.

When everyone else is falling apart,
be the voice of reason and calm.
That is the power of ACCEPTANCE.

SLEEP MAGIC PROGRAM... Register Now

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Register now for the SLEEP MAGIC PROGRAM, which will be released in September, and download the ‘Sleep Magic’ meditation to begin your SLEEP MAGIC journey.

EPISODE 18: About ACCEPTANCE

This week’s episode Caroline and Janet share what ACCEPTANCE means to them and how you too and find your way to peace through ACCEPTANCE.

Click here to LISTEN

Click here to WATCH

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